I was recently at a conference and during the break I went into the bathroom. Upon entering, I heard a man talking in one of the stalls. At first I thought maybe he was helping his kid. I was soon flushed with embarrassment when I realized there was only one voice talking. “Maybe the bathroom talker was crazy?” Nope. It turns out that he was on his cell phone. Apparently this guy was such an important person, that he could not even spare a few minutes to sit and ponder life’s great issues. Since that time, I have come across at least three other men working their flapper on the potty. It really bowled me over to discover so many people talk on the phone while using the john.
How important can any one person be that they must have their conversations on the crapper?
Maybe the guy was a brain surgeon helping guide his colleague through an intricate procedure to transplant a brain?
Could it be that he was on the line with the President trying to talk him out of dumping a load of nuclear bombs on Iran?
Maybe he was helping his mom bake a loaf and she needed instructions on how to work the oven?
Maybe the IRS was auditing the guy’s assets, and this was his last chance to talk with his accountant?
Come to think of it… nobody is so important that they cannot put a lid on it for a few minutes of private time in the water closet. I can’t imagine Thomas Crapper* or Alexander Bell thought their commodious inventions would lead to such ends. Do people really feel so overwhelmed in life that they must have conversations on the crapper?
I won’t plunge any further into this topic, so allow me close with this suggestion. If someone gives you a ring on the toilet, please remember two things. First, very few things in life are so urgent that you need to interrupt your bathroom business. Second, please wash your phone before you let someone borrow your phone.
* Yes I know the “crapper” was invented by Sir John Harrington and only marketed by Thomas Crapper.
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Pretty sick stuff.
Not to mention it’s not fun being on the other end of that phone call. Ew.