If you missed part 1, then be sure to read it. Today, lets get to the next set of Top Dating Questions.
5. Why is it bad to date non-Christians or those who have other faiths?
2 Corinthians 2:14
You should not bind yourself to those who are not in the light of Christ.
Guiding Principle: When God is your priority, you will only want to date those who will pull you toward Christ. A boyfriend or girlfriend who does not belong to Christ can never draw you closer to Him.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Intimacy with the righteous brings joy. Intimacy with the lost brings destruction.
Guiding Principles: If you choose as your closest friends (boyfriend or girlfriend) someone who does not hold God first in their life, then they will tear you away from your faith.
1 John 4:8-16
You can only be loved the way you deserve to be loved by those who are plugged into God. (Christ-followers)
Guiding Principles: Without God, there is no true love; With God, there is complete fulfillment of love. To be blunt, a person who does not have God’s salvation, no matter how great they are, cannot truly fulfill your desire for a loving relationship.
6. What level of physical intimacy is OK before marriage? How far is too far? Is some physical intimacy good in a pre-marital relationship? What is OK for PDA? Is French kissing bad?
First let me say that three is nothing sinful about kissing or other forms of physical intimacy–even before marriage. At the same time, all the questions above offer a misleading emphasis. If you are asking these questions, you are asking the wrong ones. As followers of Jesus Christ, we should be less concerned with how close we can get to “crossing the line” and more concerned with how far from it we can run.
2 Timothy 2:19-22
The closer we are to God, the farther away we get from sin.
Guiding Questions: Here are some good questions to ask yourself when establishing your personal convictions about physical intimacy before marriage. Instead of letting someone impose on your Faith by telling you a list of rules, let the Holy Spirit lead you to the right actions.
- Does this action help or hurt the other person in their pursuit to honor God?
- Does this action help or hurt the other person in their pursuit of a healthy marriage?
- Does this action honor the future husband or wife of my partner?
- Does this action honor Jesus Christ?
- Does this action reflect my love for this person as a brother and sister in Christ?
- Is this action helping me or hurting me in preparation for marriage?
7. Why does breaking up hurt so much?
Genesis 2:7,18-25
God made loving relationships to last!
Guiding Principles: Breaking up with someone you care deeply for hurts because God did not design you to get emotionally involved simply to break things off. You are built by God to have relationships that would last forever.
Proverbs 13:12
Unfulfilled hope can drag us down, but hope fulfilled will bring us never-ending joy.
Guiding Principle: When we keep on experimentally dating and breaking up to find the right “one” frustration and disappointment will eventually take you over.
8. How can I ever hope to have a good marriage that will last when my parents are divorced?
Genesis 2:7,18-25
Recognize the beauty of how God has made us; man for woman.
Guiding Principle: Keep God’s plan in your heart.
Ephesians 5:22-33
Learn now to live in the ways that are pleasing to God.
Guiding Principle: Practice now in your dating habits, what you want to be in the future.
It is true that marriages end every day and people are hurt by divorce. Children of divorced parents have a much harder time developing healthy relationships, but don’t give up hope for a happy and lasting marriage. If you want success, when you have only seen failure, then ask yourself these questions.
- Do your ‘dating’ practices reinforce the principles of good marriage?
- Does the cycle of ‘going-out’ and ‘breaking-up’ teach you the skills you will need for keeping a marriage together?
- Most marriages today begin and end based on the world’s practice of dating. If the practices of the world were of value, do you think the statistics of divorce in America would look so bad?
- Do you love your future children enough to date in such a way that you will have a successful marriage and give your kids the best chance at happiness?
- Do you have good models of marriage in your life? Do you know successful husbands and wives whom you can turn to for guidance?
9. How do you say no to your boyfriend or girlfriend when they ask you to do something that is wrong and when you are afraid of they will break up with you if you turn them down?
Genesis 39:7-12
Joseph was able to resist temptation because of the trust placed in him by his master and because it was displeasing to God.
Guiding Principle: Doing what is right in your dating relationship will not always always bring pleasure, but it will always brings joy. Stick to your convictions no matter how afraid you are of the consequences and God will take care of you!
1 Corinthians 10:13
There is no circumstance which, when we submit to God, we cannot overcome. We all suffer temptation, but God will give us a way to get out of it when we rely on Him.
Guiding Principle: God will be your strength in making right decisions even when things are their toughest.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
True love does not put conditions on a relationship.
Guiding Principle: If your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you, they will understand and respect your convictions about physical intimacy in dating. If someone still puts pressure on you, then you really do not want to be with them. Love does no violate our trust. Love builds our hope.
10. If we sin and have sex before marriage, or if I violate my own convictions, can I have a chance to start over?
John 8:1-11
God has already forgiven every sin.
Guiding Principle: As a disciple of Jesus who has embraced his salvation, you already have forgiveness through Jesus Christ. So now, moving forward, you need to rely on the Holy Spirit to help you not turn back toward your sin. Christ saved you, now, by His strength, change your life
11. If someone says, “I love you” how can I know its real? I think I love my boyfriend/girlfriend, but how how can I really know it is love that will last?
1 John 4:8-16
The only way you can truly love and be loved is to have God living in you. God is the only source of love and only through him can we experience the fullness of love. ¸
Guiding Principle: Plug into God and plug into Love! Without God, we can not Love or be loved. I know that sounds radical, but God is a radical God. If you, or the person you are dating, do not have salvation in Jesus… your love is only a shadow of what it could be in Christ.
1 Corinthians 13 & 1 John 3:18
With love, actions and the heart are united in their goal. Love is an action coming from a pure heart!
Guiding Principle: If the person you are dating really loves you, you will know it by their actions–the way they treat your, the way they talk to you, and the way they talk about you!
1 Samuel 16:7b
If we are to love as God loves then we know that we should see the things of the heart, not the outward appearance.
Guiding Principle: Love sees things the eyes cannot.
- Are you patient with each other?
- Are you kind to each other?
- Are you never envious of each other or other relationships they might have?
- Do you never boast to or about each other?
- Do humility and service characterize your relationship?
- Are you never rude to each other?
- Are you not self-seeking?
- Are you not easily angered with each other?
- Do you keep bringing up the past to hurt them?
- Are you honest with each other about everything?
- Do you protect each other from harm (future and present)?
- Do you trust each other with your whole life?
Thanks for reading along and I hope you can apply these simple, but powerful guidelines from Scripture to your dating life. There is not need to kiss dating goodbye, but make sure your dating will bring long term love!