This month I decided to join something called a SynchroBlog. According to the SynchroBlog creator Phil, the premise is simple.
Our SynchroBlog is formed around a predominently Christian group of bloggers who like the idea of changing (or at least provoking) our little corner of the world. So, we all write about the same general subject, and release our thoughts on the same day. Thus it is a Synchronized Blogging event – a SynchroBlog.
The topic for this month is maturity. Wow! There is a lot I could write under such a broad theme. Ultimately, I decided to focus my comments on what I call The Five Spheres of Relational Maturity.
That is my vision–to see people develop intentional-relationships that connect each of the 5 spheres into one generous circle of relational maturity.
To be certain, a person with a balanced life has many meaningful relationships in all 5 areas represented by the colored circles. Yet, more often than not, these relationships are decidedly unintentional. For example, our words and deeds influence people, and yet we give little thought to the consequence of our actions. We think about God in a random patterns, but rarely do we set aside time to submit to the Spirit. Every day we live within these 5 relational spheres and rarely is their an intentional focus on moving toward maturity.
- Lainie Petersen at Headspace with “Watching Daddy Die“
- Kathy Escobar at The Carnival in My Head with “What’s inside the bunny?“
- John Smulo at JohnSmulo.com with “Christian Maturity”
- Erin Word at Decompressing Faith with “Long-Wearing Nail Polish and Other Stories“
- Beth Patterson at The Virtual Teahouse with “the future is ours to see: crumbling like a mountain“
- Bryan Riley at Charis Shalom with “Still Complaining“
- Alan Knox at The Assembling of the Church with “Maturity and Education“
- KW Leslie at The Evening of Kent with “Putting the Spiritual Infants In Charge“
- Bethany Stedman at Coffee Klatch with “Moving Towards True Being: The Long Process of Maturity“
- Adam Gonnerman at Igneous Quill with “Old Enough to Follow Christ?“
- Joe Miller at More Than Cake with “Intentional Relationships for Maturity“
- Jonathan Brink at JonathanBrink.com with “I Won’t Sin“
- Susan Barnes at A Booklook with “Growing Up“
- Tracy Simmons at The Best Parts with “Knowing Him Who is From the Beginning“
- Joseph Speranzella at A Tic in the Mind’s Eye with “Spiritual Maturity And The Examination of Conscience“
- Sally Coleman at Eternal Echoes
- Liz Dyer at Grace Rules with “What I Wish The Church Knew About Spiritual Maturity“
- Cobus van Wyngaard at My Contemplations with “post-enlightenment Christians in an unenlightened South Africa“
- Steve Hayes at Khanya with “Adult Content“
- Lew A at The Pursuit with “Maturity and Preaching“
- Kai Schmal at Kaiblogy with “Mature Virtue“
- Phil Wayman at Square No More with “Is Maturity What I Want?“
- Ryan Peter at Blogs And Stuff with “The Foundation for Ministry and Leading“
- Nic Paton at The Pursuit with “Inclusion And Maturity“
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Joe,
Thanks for your post. I agree about the importance of intentional relationships. Do you think that we don’t see many mature believers today because we’ve lost that focus on intentional relationship? If so, what do you think has replaced intentional relationship as a focus?
-Alan
Hi Alan, I do think that lack of intentional relationship plays a part in our general immaturity of faith.
Intentional relationships require an outward focus and culturally we are a people who are focused inward. We are far to egocentric in our daily lives and this hinders maturity.
If you, or anyone else, cares to read about how this cultural shift took place, read this post “Man Becomes the Center of Faith“
Joe,
I appreciated your holistic approach to this topic. Too often maturity is spoken of in a narrow fashion.
sphere emphasizes the 3 D aspect vertical and horizontal I like that
I think this is a great conversation starter – I would love to hear what ideas are out there on how to be intentional in relationships. A few years ago I began to feel very burdened to intentionally focus on relationships (I am a person who can get very busy doing tasks) – one thing I decided to put into place in my life is taking time once a week (at least a couple of hours) to spend one on one quality time with someone I knew outside of my immediate family that was just for enjoyment – no agenda (in other words it couldn’t have anything to do with some project, meeting, task, ministry etc.) I would love to hear what others are doing in any of the relationship spheres you mentioned.
Joe, I too like the holistic approach.
I remember hearing a message many years ago by John Ortberg where he talked about the biblical teaching to “abound” (1 Cor. 15:58; Col 3:23) and to “abide” (John 15:4).
I remember struggling (in my head and in my life) as to how to find “balance” in these two exhortations. I came to realize, by experience, that the only way to discover the appropriate “balance” is by starting with abiding.
Now that may sound obvious, but rarely do we really live that way. In the past I have almost always started with abounding (especially in church planting efforts) and then I have tried to find some way to squeeze in a bit of abiding. Well, needless to say, working from that direction doesn’t work. When we start with abiding we will then gain the energy, motivation, and most important the wisdom to know where, when and how much to abound.
I say all of this to say that I think we must first ask how can we intentionally (as Joe as stated) cultivate that relationship with God? In Protestant circles that has mainly been through Bible study and prayer, although usually with little guidance in how that works.
A couple of friends and I have been struggling with these issues for the past couple of years and as a result we have created a “missional order” of sorts that we hope speaks to this issue of intentionally developing daily rhythms that push us toward God, aid our sanctification, and empower us participate in God’s kingdom.
While we are really just getting the site off the ground this week I do hope it strikes a cord in people to intentionally develop a rhythmn that assists them to live missional lives.
Thanks Brad for sharing how you guys are being intentional with God.
I like you grace would love to hear from more folks on how they become intentional in each sphere.
I really like that you emphasize relationship as a starting point. Good post. How would you define when intentionality comes from a selfish motive versus from a selfless motive?
Bryan, I guess anything can be done from a selfish motive… someone can even present the Gospel from selfishness. People will have let the Holy Spirit convict them of such things.
Is that what you are asking?
joe, thanks for your thoughts. i do think intentional relationships are important because the truth is we will always tend to default toward what is safe and comfortable. my take is we will never usually go to coffee with someone we don't like. being in true community and connection with people from different life experiences & beliefs & all kinds of things is where we learn so much about God, ourselves, life…thanks for your thoughts & the great synchroblog image, too (i forgot to use)
Hi Joe–
Thanks for this clear, sort of linear way of looking at a non-linear function–intentional relationship. If we were all taught this model in our homes and in our churches, our world would be a more civil place where dialogue would be welcomed and honored…and therefore bigger understanding of ‘the other’.
Thanks for putting this together for us to ‘chew on’!
Beth P.
This post encourages me to be more intentional in my relationships. I appreciate the reminder that Christian maturity requires balance of growth. I enjoyed your words and will probably share them.