The NIV twitter page promoted the new 2011 translation writing,”God’s unchanging word gets updated for first time in a quarter century when 2011 NIV debuts!” Some devotees of the NIV have been a little frustrated over the 2011 update.  In response, I read a comment on the Logos Bible Software forums that suggested it would be much easier to make a “fill in the blanks” Bible and that way we would not need all these updates.

Great idea!  Here is my press release for the ALL NEW “Fill in the Blanks” Bible ©

  • No more waiting for translators to update the meaning for your personal context…
  • No more need to understand the language, context or history…
  • No more sifting through endless commentaries to learn what others think…

Now with the brand new “Fill in the Blanks Bible” ©

You are in charge!!!

You can update the Bible to fit your lifestyle, your needs, your way!

  • Tired of reading all those boring books…
  • Sick of having to sift through all those passage that make you feel uncomfortable…
  • Confused by all those culturally irrelevant parts….

Now with the brand new “Fill in the Blank Bible” ©

You make the choices!!!

We have edited out all that stuff that just gets in the way of your experience!

  • Theist?
  • Atheist?
  • Conservative?
  • Liberal?
  • Gay?
  • Straight?
  • Man?
  • Woman?
  • Gender of your choice?

Now with the “Fill in the Blanks Bible” ©

You create the content!!!

This bible meets everyone’s needs and everyone’s beliefs.

Translators’ Note

Throughout the text, we include some helpful suggestions on how to fill in the blanks. Please do not feel in any way hindered, bound, or judged by these suggestions.  We provide them only in hopes that you will come up with some even more creative answers that better suit your life-choices and needs.

Longer, and more complex sections, have been paraphrased from the Hebrew and Greek for your convenience. Okay, we did not really consult these old languages since that does not matter, but it makes some people feel better if we add that part in.

Now we am sure you are all excited for the ALL NEW “Fill in the Blanks” Bible © translation! For those who just cant wait for the publication, here is our translation for the ENTIRE Book  of Genesis.

Translation of Genesis 1-50

Chapter 1
1-5 
The following is a ______________ (true / fictional / really neat bedtime story) account of the ______________ (creation / evolution) of the world.

In the beginning ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) ______________ {created / helped the evolutionary cycle / watched) the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was ______________ (without shape and empty / a primordial soup), ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) said, “Let there be light.” And there was light!  ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) saw that the light was ______________ (good / acceptable), and separated the light from the darkness. 5 The light was called“day” and the darkness “night.” There was evening, and there was morning, marking the first ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time).

6-25 Over the next four ______________ (days / ages / eons / periods of time). lots of other cool stuff ______________ (was created / evolved) and it was ______________(good / acceptable).

26 Then ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) said, “Let us make ______________ (Man / humans / earthlings) in our image, after our likeness, so they may ______________ (dominate / serve) the fish and the birds, cattle, and all the earth.”

27 ______________(God / Aliens / no one)  ______________ (created / helped evolve / sat back and watched) the male and ______________(male / female / transgendered people).

28-29 ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) blessed them and said “eat all the plants but don’t eat animals”.

31 ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) saw all that was______________ (made / evolved) – and it was very ______________(good / acceptable)! There was evening, and there was morning, the sixth ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time).

 

Chapter 2
1The heavens and the earth were completed with everything that was in them. 2 By the seventh ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time) the word was finished.. 3 ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) blessed the seventh ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time) and made it ______________ (holy / the last day of the weekend).

4-25 ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) planted an orchard in the east, in Eden; and the trees, animals and people lived in harmony.

 

Chapter 3 The ______________ (man / woman / transgendered person) ______________ (sinned / through no fault of their own / invented fossil fuels and guns) and caused a divide in the harmony of the world.

 

Chapters 4-11 The __________ (man / woman / transgendered person) had sex with another _________ (man / woman / transgendered person)  and there were children.  Some were naughty and some were nice.  Some of the bad ones built a tall building to _________________ (reach god / find their personal deity / destroy the environment).  ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) decided to ______________ (punish them / love them anyway).  One of the nice ones built a boat to _________________ (be safe from God’s judgement / commune with nature).  The world was once again in harmony and lots more people were born.

 

Chapters 12-18 Abraham made a promise with ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) and became the ______________ (Father, Mother, non-gender specific parental figure) of ______________ (the Jewish faith / the Muslim faith / the Christian faith /many nations).

 

Chapters 19-50 Two ______________ (angels / travelers from another planet / this whole story is dumb and should not be in here) came to earth and saw the ______________ (homosexual wickedness / there is no limits on love so this story is no good) of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Lot wanted to save the good people of the city, but ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) wanted to ______________(punish / kill / embrace the openness of the alternative lifestyles chosen by) everyone.  Eventually only a few were saved.  A lot more people were born and quite a few died in really bad ways.

I am taking pre-orders now, so let me know if you want to reserve your limited edition signed copy.

I am also looking for translators to be a part of my team.  Submit your resume, four box tops  and a writing sample in the comments section below to apply.

Dr. J.R. Miller is a Professor of Applied Theology and Leadership & Dean of Online Learning at Southern California Seminary. Outside work, he is a church planter. Dr. Miller has a diverse educational background and authored multiple books on church history, biblical theology, and Leadership. Joe and his wife Suzanne enjoy the sun and surf with their 3 sons in San Diego, CA.

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