Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Homosexuality: Is it in the Jeans or in the Genes?

Introduction
ABC’s 20/20 recently aired a program entitled, “Is there a ‘gay gene’?”   Their conclusion is going to cause a lot of controversy.

“It's a medical mystery, one of the biggest debates of our time: Is there a gene that determines whether you're gay or straight? Some scientists think so, saying sexual identity is mostly biological. Others say it's a learned behaviour. Not that kids need science to confirm what they already know.”
While emphasizing the complexity of this issue, reporters, Lynn Sherr & David Diamond, leave their viewers with the clear impression that researchers, like the ones at GayBros.Com, will confirm this genetic link, but even if it does not, the men who are gay know they were born gay. No matter what this report says, there will be others who will continue to emphasize that gayness is a choice that can be changed like an old pair of shoes.
“The Wall Street Journal reported on August 12, 1993, that to suggest that current biological-cause theories are unsubstantiated is to risk one’s career. New York psychiatrist William Byne said, “I’m told my criticism is not politically correct…What they are saying, therefore, is that I should subjugate scientific rigor to political expediency.”
However, as Aldous Huxley said, “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” The fact is that no scientifically accepted, replicable studies presently exist that clearly demonstrate that homosexuality is genetic.
Studies do exist, however, showing that homosexuals who desire to change can do so. These studies have not received the same level of media coverage as the flawed studies.”
Any view that does not meet with the "scientific" agenda espoused by 20/20 will be met with increasing vitriol.  Take for example the recent story of Crystal Dixon.  Ms. Dixon was the Vice President of Human Resources at the University of Toledo until she dared to question the schools agenda.  Ms. Dixon, a black woman, wrote the following.
As a Black womao who happens to be an alumnus of the University of Toledo's Graduate School, an employee and business owner, I take great umbrage at the notion that those choosing the homosexual lifestyle are "civil rights victims." Here's why. I cannot wake up tomorrow and not be a Black woman. I am genetically and biologically a Black woman and very pleased to be so as my Creator intended. Daily, thousands of homosexuals make a life decision to leave the gay lifestyle evidenced by the growing population of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex Gays) and Exodus International just to name a few. Frequently, the individuals report that the impetus to their change of heart and lifestyle was a transformative experience with God; a realization that their choice of same-sex practices wreaked havoc in their psychological and physical lives. Charlene E. Cothran, publisher of Venus Magazine, was an aggressive, strategic supporter of gay rights and a practicing lesbian for 29 years, before she renounced her sexuality and gave Jesus Christ stewardship of her life.
The response from the University of Toledo was to fire Ms. Dixon. According to a statement, reported in the Toledo Free Press, UT spokesman Lawrence J. Burns, said there was “just cause” to fire Dixon.
The public position Ms. Dixon took in the Toledo Free Press is in direct contradiction to University policies and procedures, as well as the institutional core values as defined in our strategic plan, and called into question her continued ability to lead a critical function within the administration as personnel actions or decisions taken in her capacity as associate vice president for human resources could be challenged or placed at risk.
Did you catch it?  Ms. Dixon's view does not match the core values and therefore, her viewpoint, no matter how factually correct, will not be tolerated.   Debates and fights of this kind reflect a world system that is broken.  This clash of "rights" will only get worse as the reason of the culture becomes far more unreasonable and science becomes far more political.   As Christians, we cannot fix the world, but we still have to know how we should talk to gays without ignoring the "science" of homosexuality. 

The Approach
First, it is important that we stop treating Homosexuality as some kind of uber-sin. The Scripture speaks of many sexual sins, and this particular one is no better or worse (Romans 3:23). The church must do a better job of loving gays and ministering the grace of Jesus Christ.

Second, I am willing to concede that there is a genetic link to homosexual desire. Not because the science is convincing, but because families like the ones in the ABC report, and Universities like UT, will always believe people were born gay and had no choice in the matter. They will still argue, "I was born this way" So, for the sake of getting past the science and to the Gospel I would rather concede there is a genetic connection to the gay desire and then discuss the behavior in light of Christ.

Finally, before I move on, let me provide two key definitions to explain the title of this article: “Homosexuality; Is it in the Jeans or in the Genes?”

The Jeans refers to the desires and passions of the soul (both the spiritual and intellectual influences).
The Genes refer to the physical body of flesh (both the genetic and biological influences).

The Cause
People, both religious and secular, seem to be stuck in two camps. The Gay advocates are determined to prove that all homosexual desire and action is rooted in the Genes. Advocates for change are determined to prove that all homosexual behavior and desire is a matter of moral choice.

I, like the reporters for ABC’s 20/20, contend that the causes are much more complicated then folks on either side want to admit. So let me explore some of the possible causes.

Possible Roots of Homosexuality
Influences from the Jeans
  • Cultural/Social: There is a mounting social pressure, rooted in our Western/American culture that encourages kids to experiment with gay sex. TV, Movies, and Schools are all promoting the acceptance and pleasure of gayness. I would connect this to the “mob mentality” we see in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.
  • Experience: There is evidence that some men, and women, "become" gay because of very traumatic childhood experiences, such as rape and abuse, which leads to sexual confusion.
  • Emotions: In an increasingly pluralistic and divided society, many young kids are unable to process the emotional vicissitudes of life. These emotions, if not properly directed, have led many people, young and old, to use sexual experimentation as an outlet.
Influence from the Genes (as noted in the 20/20 report)
  • Psychology: The influences of the subconscious may play a part in a persons sexual identity.
  • Biology: Some scientists will argue that conditions in the womb, such as hormone balance, drugs use, temperature, etc… can influence the sexual orientation of the baby.
  • Genetic: Studies like the one mentioned above, are seeking the link within the DNA that determines sexual choice.
I am willing to concede that all of these influences, both from the Jeans and the Genes, play a part in the gayness of an individual. Some may be influenced by only one factor, others by many. Jesus mentions that there are eunuchs by birth and some by choice (Matthew 19:12), so it should not be a shock to think that some people are gay by choice and others are gay by birth. I am willing to make this concession, even if there is no real evidence, because ultimately I don’t think it matters.

The Key to Understanding
Any viable answer must meet the following criteria:
  • All solutions must deal with the whole person.  Everything that makes us human is rooted in the whole being. We cannot divide the soul, from the spirit, from the Body…
  • Genetic makeup is not stronger than our moral compass. Man is not a simple animal, we have the capacity to overcome our baser instincts.
  • All solutions must deal with the sin nature.  The only reason I am willing to concede that gayness may be in the Genes, is simply because I believe we are all sinners in the image of Adam. The Genesis account is clear, the sin of Adam has corrupted not just our moral state, but also our physical bodies. Religious advocates of the gay Gene argue that homosexuals are designed that way and therefore God cannot be wrong in his design. Advocates of an evolutionary model, feel that the presence of a gay Gene means that nature has chosen these people to be gay. In response to both I would argue that to hold this view is folly. Downs Syndrome and other genetic diseases are not designed by God;nor is it an indication of evolutionary progress? The crux of the difference is found in our view of sin and the impact of sin in both our Genes and our Jeans. 
  • Free Choice does not mean Free Will.  Al Mohler makes the point that 
“We must stop confusing the issues of moral responsibility and moral choice. We are all responsible for our sexual orientation, but that does not mean that we freely and consciously choose that orientation. We sin against homosexuals by insisting that sexual temptation and attraction are predominately chosen. We do not always (or even generally) choose our temptations. Nevertheless, we are absolutely responsible for what we do with sinful temptations, whatever our so-called sexual orientation.”
Taking each of these keys into account, I am left with only one solution to the question of gayness in the genes or the jeans--Jesus heals!

Jesus Heals (1 Cor 15:1-58)
Jesus died and was raised so that we can experience the life of His resurrection power. Jesus can heal emotional, physical, and spiritual sickness of any kind. I believe the Scriptures teach that Man was created as a unity; body, mind, soul, spirit--or any way one chooses to define it. There is no way to separate one from the other. The Hebraic concept o man is that we are one being. I think in the case of sin, it impacts our whole being, not just flesh, not just spirit, not just mind, but all of who we are. So if "science" could "prove" there was a gay gene, it would not impact God's declaration of sin. There are already scientists who argue that alchahol addiction is genetic, sexual addiction is genetic, morality is genetic, and the list goes on.

Modern "science" seeks to divide the flesh from the Spirit and say that the flesh is all-powerful. The root cause of all sin is sin. Science has no capacity to determine the cause, Science can only tell us what factors of the flesh play a part. Christians are also falling into a trap by trying to play on turf of modern “science.” We need to stop arguing against the wisdom of the world and give them the wisdom of God’s revelation. Therefore, it matters not what science can prove or disprove, it does not change the Word of God or his design for Man.

Ultimately, the degree to which gayness is in the Genes or in the Jeans is not a core theological issue and something we can hold loosely. We can agree to disagree on the source of “sin” and still be faithful followers of Jesus. What we should agree upon is that nothing in our Jeans or the Genes can limit the shed blood of Jesus Christ--Jesus heals!

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Integrous Leader Is Worthy Of Being Followed

You can lead without character. But character is what makes you a leader worth following.”

Andy Stanley

"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the unfaithful destroys them." 
(Proverbs 113:3, NET)

Just the other day, I was hanging out with our church Elders at a local coffee shop.  I was talking to one of the owners when she revealed some shocking news, "I stopped drinking coffee!"  I gotta' admit, it gave me pause to think, "if even the owner of this place doesn't use the stuff, am I wasting my money on this overpriced addictive beverage?"  Then I started to wonder, "isn't this the same problem many people have with the leaders in the church?"  In an age when people are pursuing a leaderless church, "is it possible that they are turned off because they only see leaders who don't really 'use' what they are 'selling'?"  The integrous leader will stop trying to convince people to follow God, and start living through Him.  The integrous leaders will stop trying to persuade people to embrace their theology, and start living their theology.  Here are just a few ways that a leader can become a man, or woman, worthy of being followed. 

First, the integrous leader is developed through brokenness. The story of David is just one example. Time after time, for more than a decade, David was beaten down and broken while pursing God's call on his life. In the midst of great persecution at the hands of Saul, his leader, David found a way to build an army and keep them focused on the promise of God.

Second, to become a leader of integrity worth being followed, one must be intentional about developing the inner Man. As leaders, we must invest in the health of our soul. Nobody plans to fail, especially leaders. But to ignore the condition of your soul is the equivalent of planning to fail (1 Timothy 4:12-16).

Third, leaders worth following are willing to face and embrace current reality regardless of how discouraging or embarrassing it might be.  A leader must must be relentless in their quest to know the truth about what is happening and deal with it head on (1 Corinthians 1 cf..).  

In the long run, leadership effectiveness hinges on who you are rather than on what you can do. Anyone can learn how to act like a leader.  Anyone can develop the habits of good leadership.  Anyone with the right personality can draw a big crowd and keep their attention with motivational speeches.  However,  people will not follow you for long, and God will not honor you, unless you are a leader with integrity who is worthy of being followed (1 Timothy 3:1-13).
Go back to the DNA of Integrity

Sunday, May 11, 2008

A Mother's Day Poem

We had a special Mother's day service today at Reunion.   The older kids stayed in for the worship, sat at the tables, and made cards for their moms during the sermon.  Since I was not preaching, I decided to make a card for my wife Suzanne.  Admittedly, it is not my best work, my poem does not exactly flow off the tonnage, but if you read it in the proper meter, it still rhymes pretty good. Suzane liked the card well enough and said I could share it with you all. As a side note, the CheeseMark Card  label was created back in college by my friend Dave Young and I.  The name and tag-line are perfect for poor college students and church planters

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Top Questions on Dating & Relationships - Part 2

If you missed part 1, then be sure to read it.  Today, lets get to the next set of Top Dating Questions.


5. Why is it bad to date non-Christians or those who have other faiths?
2 Corinthians 2:14
You should not bind yourself to those who are not in the light of Christ.
Guiding Principle: When God is your priority, you will only want to date those who will pull you toward Christ. A boyfriend or girlfriend who does not belong to Christ can never draw you closer to Him.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Intimacy with the righteous brings joy.  Intimacy with the lost brings destruction.  
Guiding Principles: If you choose as your closest friends (boyfriend or girlfriend) someone who does not hold God first in their life, then they will tear you away from your faith.

1 John 4:8-16
You can only be loved the way you deserve to be loved by those who are plugged into God. (Christ-followers)  
Guiding Principles: Without God, there is no true love; With God, there is complete fulfillment of love. To be blunt, a person who does not have God's salvation, no matter how great they are, cannot truly fulfill your desire for a loving relationship.

6. What level of physical intimacy is OK before marriage? How far is too far? Is some physical intimacy good in a pre-marital relationship? What is OK for PDA? Is French kissing bad?
First let me say that three is nothing sinful about kissing or other forms of physical intimacy--even before marriage.  At the same time, all the questions above offer a misleading emphasis. If you are asking these questions, you are asking the wrong ones.  As followers of Jesus Christ, we should be less concerned with how close we can get to "crossing the line" and more concerned with how far from it we can run. 

2 Timothy 2:19-22
The closer we are to God, the farther away we get from sin.
Guiding Questions:  Here are some good questions to ask yourself when establishing your personal convictions about physical intimacy before marriage.  Instead of letting someone impose on your Faith by telling you a list of rules, let the Holy Spirit lead you to the right actions.
  • Does this action help or hurt the other person in their pursuit to honor God?
  • Does this action help or hurt the other person in their pursuit of a healthy marriage?
  • Does this action honor the future husband or wife of my partner?
  • Does this action honor Jesus Christ?
  • Does this action reflect my love for this person as a brother and sister in Christ?
  • Is this action helping me or hurting me in preparation for marriage? 
7. Why does breaking up hurt so much?
Genesis 2:7,18-25
God made loving relationships to last!
Guiding Principles:  Breaking up with someone you care deeply for hurts because God did not design you to get emotionally involved simply to break things off. You are built by God to have relationships that would last forever.

Proverbs 13:12
Unfulfilled hope can drag us down, but hope fulfilled will bring us never-ending joy.
Guiding Principle: When we keep on experimentally dating and breaking up to find the right “one” frustration and disappointment will eventually take you over.

8. How can I ever hope to have a good marriage that will last when my parents are divorced?
Genesis 2:7,18-25
Recognize the beauty of how God has made us; man for woman. 
Guiding Principle: Keep God’s plan in your heart.
Ephesians 5:22-33
Learn now to live in the ways that are pleasing to God. 
Guiding Principle: Practice now in your dating habits, what you want to be in the future.
It is true that marriages end every day and people are hurt by divorce.  Children of divorced parents have a much harder time developing healthy relationships, but don't give up hope for a happy and lasting marriage.  If you want success, when you have only seen failure, then ask yourself these questions.
  • Do your ‘dating’ practices reinforce the principles of good marriage?
  • Does the cycle of ‘going-out’ and ‘breaking-up’ teach you the skills you will need for keeping a marriage together?
  • Most marriages today begin and end based on the world's practice of dating.  If the practices of the world were of value, do you think the statistics of divorce in America would look so bad?
  • Do you love your future children enough to date in such a way that you will have a successful marriage and give your kids the best chance at happiness? 
  • Do you have good models of marriage in your life? Do you know successful husbands and wives whom you can turn to for guidance?
9. How do you say no to your boyfriend or girlfriend when they ask you to do something that is wrong and when you are afraid of they will break up with you if you turn them down?
Genesis 39:7-12 
Joseph was able to resist temptation because of the trust placed in him by his master and because it was displeasing to God.
Guiding Principle: Doing what is right in your dating relationship will not always always bring pleasure, but it will always brings joy.  Stick to your convictions no matter how afraid you are of the consequences and God will take care of you!

1 Corinthians 10:13
There is no circumstance which, when we submit to God, we cannot overcome. We all suffer temptation, but God will give us a way to get out of it when we rely on Him. 
Guiding Principle: God will be your strength in making right decisions even when things are their toughest.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13
True love does not put conditions on a relationship.  
Guiding Principle: If your boyfriend or girlfriend  loves you, they will understand and respect your convictions about physical intimacy in dating. If someone still puts pressure on you, then you really do not want to be with them.  Love does no violate our trust.  Love builds our hope.

10. If we sin and have sex before marriage, or if I violate my own convictions, can I have a chance to start over?
John 8:1-11
God has already forgiven every sin. 
Guiding Principle: As a disciple of Jesus who has embraced his salvation, you already have forgiveness through Jesus Christ.  So now, moving forward, you need to rely on the Holy Spirit to help you not turn back toward your sin.   Christ saved you, now, by His strength, change your life

11. If someone says, "I love you" how can I know its real?  I think I love my boyfriend/girlfriend, but how how can I really know it is love that will last?
1 John 4:8-16
The only way you can truly love and be loved is to have God living in you. God is the only source of love and only through him can we experience the fullness of love. ¸ 
Guiding Principle: Plug into God and plug into Love!  Without God, we can not Love or be loved.  I know that sounds radical, but God is a radical God.  If you, or the person you are dating, do not have salvation in Jesus... your love is only a shadow of what it could be in Christ.

1 Corinthians 13 & 1 John 3:18
With love, actions and the heart are united in their goal.  Love is an action coming from a pure heart!
Guiding Principle: If the person you are dating really loves you, you will know it by their actions--the way they treat your, the way they talk to you, and the way they talk about you! 

1 Samuel 16:7b
If we are to love as God loves then we know that we should see the things of the heart, not the outward appearance. 
Guiding Principle: Love sees things the eyes cannot.
  • Are you patient with each other?
  • Are you kind to each other? 
  • Are you never envious of each other or other relationships they might have?
  • Do you never boast to or about each other?
  • Do humility and service characterize your relationship? 
  • Are you never rude to each other? 
  • Are you not self-seeking? 
  • Are you not easily angered with each other?
  • Do you keep bringing up the past to hurt them? 
  • Are you honest with each other about everything? 
  • Do you protect each other from harm (future and present)? 
  • Do you trust each other with your whole life? 
Thanks for reading along and I hope you can apply these simple, but powerful guidelines from Scripture to your dating life. There is not need to kiss dating goodbye, but make sure your dating will bring long term love!

Friday, May 09, 2008

Top Questions on Dating & Relationships - Part 1

After almost 15 years of ministering to teenagers and college aged students, I compiled a fairly good list of the top questions on dating. This was one of my favorite yearly talks to teens and now I am pleased to pass along some of the insights from those years of ministry.  You can use what you like and fill in your own stories that help illustrate each point.

First, let me give you a few key definitions.
What is Dating? Dating is a lifestyle that involves a series of temporary one-on-one relationships between a guy and a girl for the purposes of exploring feelings of physical attraction and/or for personal enjoyment and/or the pursuit of a life-long mate.
What is Love? Love is a lifestyle that reflects service to God in every action and places the good of others above our own needs and desires.
Armed with these two simple definitions, let’s move on to the big questions.

1. Does the Bible talk about Dating?
No & Yes.  The Bible does not mention the term dating, but it does tell us how to build good relationships. Dating, as we know it, is an invention of the 20th century. Analogous to this issue is violence on TV and Internet pornography; neither of which are mentioned in the Bible. The practice of dating is new, but the principles of how we should relate to persons of the opposite sex are well documented in Scripture.

2. What are some of the principles I can use to better know what decisions I should make in the area of guy to girl relationships?
2 Timothy 2:19-22
As Christians, our hope is in Jesus and we must turn from sin and pursue what is good.

Guiding Principle: Don’t stand still in your faith (run away from sinful desires and run toward God). Any relationship that does not let you pursue what is best, is not right for you.

Proverbs 4:23 
The Bible tells us that the heart is the center for our spiritual and physical vitality. If we do not make efforts to protect our heart, we will bring harm to ourselves. 
Guiding Principle: In any dating relationship, guard your heart and you will flourish.

Psalms 66:18  
When we refuse to hear God’s voice and we follow after sin, we jeopardize our fellowship with God.
Guiding Principle: Listen to God’s voice when it comes to relationship decisions. Disobedience may bring temporary pleasure, but results in your isolation from God.

1 Corinthians 7:17-40 
God has called every person for a purpose. No matter what our circumstance, we must strive to put God first.  Learn to find contentment in every circumstance. 
Guiding Principles: Learn to be a satisfied single before you start dating.Before you can relate to others, you must learn to live for God. Until you are at peace with God, you are not going to have good dating relationships. No relationship should hinder your service to God. If a dating relationship hinders your ability to actively serve Jesus, it is not a healthy relationship.

3. As a Christian, what should my standards be? Who should set my standards; God? Parents? Myself? Can standards vary from person to person and still be considered Biblical?
Ephesians 5:1 
As we develop moral standards, they must reflect the nature of God.
Guiding Principle: Standards can vary from person to person, and to some extend even from situation to situation.  When it comes to setting your standards for dating a guy or girl. Don’t settle for second best.  Just do it RIGHT.

Ephesians 6:1-3 
Children must strive to live in obedience to their parents and honor them in their other relationships. At the same time parents must be submissive to God in their discipline and direction to children.
Guiding Principles: Parents who honor God will give you good direction when it comes to choosing someone to date and/or marry.
Honor your parents, even if they are not godly, and God will bless you in your relationships.

Proverbs 10:7; 13:13, 14:12-15; 16:2 
We can not always trust in our own hearts, that is why we must seek wise council from friends, Spirit filled leaders, the Holy Spirit, and from the word of God. 
Guiding Principle: When you are in a relationship, an untested heart will lead to sure disaster.  The heart can sometimes lead you into destructive relationships so always find ways to test your feelings.

4. Why is premarital sex bad for me?
1 Corinthians 6:16 
Sexual intimacy brings spiritual oneness.  
Guiding Principles: Each time you unite your body with another person, only to break up, you loose a piece of yourself. Dating, having sex and then breaking-up destroys the bond of physical intimacy and brings heartache in future relationships.Keeping yourself sexually clean for your one marriage partner can give you greater intimacy than you will ever know.

1 Corinthians 6:17 
Since the Holy Spirit unites us to Christ, we must not ally ourselves with things that are in opposition to Christ. 
Guiding Principle: Sex of any kinds unites you to the other person and when you participate in sex outside of God's design it divides you from Christ.  

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & Ephesians 5:3 
We must flee from sexual impurity because our lives have been bought with the blood of Jesus Christ. 
Guiding Principle: Embracing the world's cycle of self-focused dating (dating that does not incorporate love) is a rejection of your relationship with God.

Hebrews 13:1-6 
As members of the Body of Christ we must recognize that every action we take impacts other parts of the Body.  
Guiding Principles: Fornication (sex before marriage) brings dishonor to the sacred value of marriage.Pre-marital sex destroys the beauty of marriage.

James 1:13-18 
Love conceived brings forth joy and joy accomplished brings forth life.  Lust conceived brings forth sin and sin accomplished brings forth death.
Guiding Principle: Pre-marital sex is always an expression of lust, never love. Why, because it directly violates God’s plan for our lives. Thus it will always lead to personal and emotional devastation. 

Galatians 6:7 
When we willfully disobey God, we bring upon ourselves the natural consequences of our sin.
Guiding Principles: When you disobey God, sometimes He will let you have what we ask for. Suxual pleasure outside of marriage can be good for a season, but it may lead to long-term dissatisfaction that will hinder every relationship in your future.

That's all for now.  In the next post, I will answer the final top questions about dating and relationships.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

The DNA of Church - Incarnation

The terminology of incarnation is not culturally meaningful, but when the church embraces the DNA of Incarnation, the people in our communities will be transformed.


INCARNATION OF GOD: The DNA of Incarnation is living in the power of Jesus' resurrection wholeness even as we walk in our own earthly brokenness.

INCARNATION WITH MAN: The DNA of Incarnation is allowing the world to see, touch, hear, smell and taste the physical presence of Christ in us.

The implication and application of the DNA of Church is manifold. In future posts I will share specific stories of how this plays out in our own church.

Next, I will begin a short series on how these five characteristics of our DNA helps shape the Elder/Leadership structure of Reunion.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The DNA of Church - Accountability

Faith, Integrity, and Commitment naturally lead us to embrace the DNA of Accountability.

ACCOUNTABILITY TO GOD: The DNA of Accountability is submitting to the Father's will so we can experience the total pleasure in His holiness.

ACCOUNTABILITY WITH MAN: The DNA of Accountability grows relationships of forgiveness and cleansing, which reorient our beliefs, customs and practices, both public and private.

Does this describe your relationship with God?  With His Church?

I dream about living as a church that helps people experience the total pleasure of living holy lives and where relationships bring a cleansing from the pain of life.